Friday, November 09, 2007

Top Ten Reasons You Found a Garden Gnome by Your Bed This Morning

10. Friends don't let friends shop in the Wal-Mart lawn & garden section while on a three day bender.

9. You live next door to Happy Acres, the old age home for gnomes. One of the aides will come looking when he's discovered missing.

8. Travelocity wants to know if what they've heard about you and Priceline's William Shatner is true.

7. Technically, the gnome found you next to it this morning given you're now out in the yard with a killer hangover.

6. During your drunken escapade last night you vaguely recall hitting on some small, yet incredibly attractive, woman wearing a funny hat.

5. It already has your underpants, but it wanted to see if you knew what step 2 was.

4. Hey, if it scares you, it'll scare your cat enough to prevent him from waking you up at 5AM.

3. It had been creeping closer every night while you slept, but you thought it would maintain some personal boundries.

2. The people who gave you the horse head last time have been to sensitivity training.

1. You glued it to your Roomba and programmed it to bring you breakfast in bed.

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